Matters of the Heart
by Nocturnalux
Summary: Erika, in pure fangirl mode, decides to actively ship her favorite couple by forcing Shizuo and Izaya to stay in the same room until they confess their hidden love for each other. Otaku references abound. Shizuo/Izaya
1. Chapter 1

**Pairing: **Shizuo/Izaya

**Prompt:** Convinced that Shizu-chan has super speshul feelings for Izaya, Erika obeys her her womanly duty to help Shizuo communicate them.  
>I want fake love letters, Shizuo and Izaya locked in a room together, and improper cues from Erika for Shizuo to tell Izaya "how he really feels."<br>The more cheesy cliches, the better.

* * *

><p>Erika always knew that it was so. Just like she could always tell which girl would win in harem anime, her instinct never erred. That was why when she spotted the sakura trees in bloom, pink heart shaped petals fluttering in the air and the only thing missing a touching soundtrack and a close up on Izaya's bashful smile as he turned around, she knew without a doubt that she had stumbled across a romantic scene of epic proportions.<br>Of course, she had tracked Shizuo ('stalking' was for amateurs) to this park and her suspicious were confirmed by his throwing a kid slide at Izaya.  
>"Izaya! You die today! Fucking louse! I'll kill you!"<br>Pure tsundere. Izaya soon gone, dashing madly, fur fringe fluttering as he ran for dear life. Erika pictured it in slow motion. Time for her to put her grand plan into motion, because there was no better season than spring for love to blossom (without forgetting winter and summer as per KyoAni's decision).

"Shizuo! Hello, how you doing?"  
>Erika just happened to visit the sushi restaurant just when Shizuo was about to gobble down a few rolls of makizushi. She took a seat next to him.<br>"That Izaya, I've told him time and time again not to come to Ikebukuro!"  
>He down a few cups of sake. Erika nodded, playing the understanding friend character was fun. She saw right through Shizuo and dismissed his brooding manner as a typical sign of a sentimental attachment that his delinquent personality kept him from admitting to. Which was when she came in.<br>"You know how sunset, the sea, going to an amusement park, eating a bento on the school's rooftop-"  
>"Simon! More of these and some soy sauce! And let me know if you see Izaya! I'll make fatty tuna out of him."<br>Erika read some subtext into it. She changed tactics, clearly Shizuo had no concept of romantic settings.  
>"So you saw Izaya today?"<br>Shizuo pointed his chopsticks at her.  
>"Ruined my entire day."<br>He chewed on wasabi.  
>"I think it is always for the best to express your feelings clearly. Or else you will regret it later."<br>Shizuo seemed to muse about this, chewing slowly as he did so.  
>"You're right."<br>Erika perked up immediately. Surely this would be her crowning moment of greatness.  
>"Shizuo, you should just tell Izaya-"<br>"Simon! This wasabi isn't spicy! I don't want your sissy Russian stuff! Bring some decent wasabi!"  
>She chalked down 'big eater' on her chart of character traits that applied to Shizuo, which made him a companion to Hei or Allen with hints of Doumeki.<br>"So…what're you doing after dinner?"  
>Shizuo grunted.<br>"Patrolling. I'm checking out Izaya's hanging spots and if I find him, we'll be having Izaya sashimi."  
>Erika giggled at the thought. Apparently along with this obsession Shizuo also had some creative culinary metaphors.<br>"Can I tag along?"  
>"Don't care."<p>

That was how Erika ended up walking side by side with Shizuo down dark alleys and peering around corners. Shizuo hardly seemed aware that she was present at all and Erika had to run to keep up with his strides.  
>"I think it's wonderful that you two are on first name basis."<br>He blinked as if noticing she was there for the first time. This mission sent her BL sensors tingling.  
>"Huh? You mean me and the louse?"<br>"Yes!"  
>Shizuo got a can of juice from a vending machine and handed her another. Erika imagined him as the school tough guy that picks up kitties in the rain and shelters them in their leather jackets. Then she changed the daydream just to include catear!Izaya instead of an actual cat.<br>"That's because I've known him since school."  
>Erika did an inward dance. Now this was absolutely perfect and fit into her previous fantasies. She wondered how Izaya would look in a sailor fuku.<br>"How was Izaya in high school? Did he run to school with a bit of toast in his mouth because he was late and then bumped into you? And then was all 'kyaa!" because you saw his pink panties under his skirt?"  
>Shizuo blinked.<br>"Huh? What are you going on about?"  
>"Oh, nothing in particular…but how was Izaya back then?"<br>Shizuo shrugged.  
>"Same as he is a now. A lowlife, an asshole, a bastard, a fucking louse!"<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

"I suppose delicious Izaya trap was too much to hope for…"  
>Shizuo stopped on his tracks.<br>"That's it! That's what I need…an Izaya trap! I must trap the louse. Thanks, that was a great idea! I'll buy you another juice."  
>Instead of this offer Erika would rather he shared an indirect kiss with Izaya followed by some failing and blushing, you could always do with more blushing, but there was definitely potential here.<br>"Let me help with that!"  
>Shizuo became thoughtful for a while.<br>"Izaya is smart…so I guess if you know how to trap him then I'll take you on that."  
>Erika was, without a doubt, on it.<br>"Leave it to me, Shizuo! I'll contact you later!"  
>She hurried back home and hopped to the computer as per usual. Time to upload her wallpaper to something currently airing but first and foremost she had an email to compose. Normally Erika would opt for a nice traditional love letter, discreetly tucked into a locker and followed by the anguished declaration, bonus points for sunset. Extra bonus points if a rival eavesdrops on the whole thing. But not all things went her way and she could never mimic Shizuo's calligraphy. Shounen heroes had problems to overcome and Erika too found solutions with considerably less bitching, truth be said, and without calling out names as a form of upgrading skills and there was no glowing involved nor standing still in front of an opponent to lecture him at length.<br>Erika thought aloud as she typed.  
>'Izaya-kun, I have something to tell you. Something important that has been burdening my heart all these years. This heart of mine that yearns for you and that feels the red thread of destiny tying us together. My love for you is written in the stars.'<br>She reached for a pocky and thoughtfully chewed on the chocolate goodness. So far she had pinned Izaya as the 'snarky narcissistic borderline troll' kind that needs be was gayer than all of the stuff published by June multiplied by every Be Boy magazine issue then upped to the power of over a million. To reel him in a bait was necessary. Like apples worked on both Ryuk and Horo (and Erika had a feeling that there might something to the connection between the two, randomness not withstanding).  
>"I only have to feed his god complex, then!"<br>Erika deleted the text and started afresh.  
>'Izaya-kun, I know that I can't defeat you. You have outwitted me completely. So I'd like us to stop fighting. I'm not good with words but there is something I must tell you in person. Do meet me at the following address this Saturday at 10 pm.'<br>She almost signed 'Kira' but refrained at the last moment. Upon rereading the missive she wanted to add much more. Things about throbbing chests, bubbling feelings, shoujo roses spontaneously blooming and the whole lot. But she suspected that Izaya would never buy it. Too much OOC was bad. All of Erika's cherished ships were canon, it just so happened that the general public did not quite see it.  
>Erika smiled happily. Some tweaking with email addresses later she sent the mail, niftily identified as Shizuo's.<p>

Izaya walked into the empty building with his typical strut. This was going to be a good night.  
>"Shizu-chan! Oh Shi-zu-chan! You here already? I knew you'd come to your senses and realize how amazing I am. So come out wherever you are!"<br>He noticed that something was not quite right a fraction of a heartbeat too late. Erika jumped out of nowhere and tased him. Izaya fell to the floor before he could quite get to his pet switchblade and soon enough his body was too numb for him to even move. She laughed her best oujou-sama laughter.  
>"Just as planned!"<br>Izaya blinked. He was greatly confused and getting more scared by the second. Shizuo he could handle but Erika was completely off her rocker. He tried to speak but it did not work.  
>"Your charm point is the foe-yayho-yay element. I'm only here to help out. I'm hoping for a sweet confession but first, you know how it goes…Izaya-kun. Can't have that without rape first. Because rape means love!"  
>And with that she produced a suspicious vial and poured it on Izaya who by now had completely reconsidered his expectations for the night.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

"Now, I must work on your uke points and up them a bit."  
>Izaya could do nothing as Erika propped him so as to face the door and then disheveled his hair, running her fingers through it expertly. He was becoming hotter by the second and exceedingly uncomfortable. All of that became so much worse when Erika picked up the blade and slashed his shirt just a tad. Erika hummed a Doraemon tune (while she kept up with the most recent releases she never lost a chance of paying homage to a classic) as she unbuckled and unzipped him then lowered the pants to expose slim hips.<br>Erika took a step back to contemplate her handiwork.  
>"Hmm…we're keeping the jacket because it's so moe but let's show some collar bone."<br>With this in mind she did more hacking at the shirt the applied transparent gloss to Izaya's lips to give them a sexy wet feel while bringing to the front the natural pink. Again she studied him and nodded approvingly.  
>"All set, Izaya-kun! You don't have to thank me, I'm just your everyday cupid letting love happen! Bye bee! Your date is here anyway."<br>And with a wink, a V and a 'kyun' she disappeared from Izaya's field of vision just as the sound of loud footsteps thundered closer and closer.  
>"Izaya! There's no place to hide! You louse!"<br>Shizuo carried a vending machine as he stormed into the room. He spotted Izaya right away and blinked. For some reason his target was lying on the floor and as he approached he realized that his clothes were all weird. He hesitated before putting the bulky machine down and patting him on the shoulder, roughly.  
>"Oy! Izaya-kun? Will you wake up already so that I can squash you properly!"<br>Izaya's eyes grew wide as soon as he was touched. He had a suspicion of what was in that highly shady vial and now he knew for sure. Meanwhile Shizuo decided that shaking him forcibly was the best way of getting the job done.  
>"What the devil is wrong with you? Hey! Just what were you doing before I got here?"<br>Izaya managed a garbled protest. They were losing time, it took a master manipulator to recognize another (as Erika would put it, Lelouch and Light made for great crossover stuff) and he knew that Erika would not let either of them go so his best chance was to dismiss the growing tightening bellow the waist and convince Shizuo to pick him up and flee. Unfortunately he could not quite speak and before he could do anything the door slammed shut and Erika appeared on a screen, complete with a Zero outfit, cape and all.  
>"Elevens! That will no longer be our name! Just kidding, got a bit carried away roleplaying there. Shizuo-kun and Izaya-kun, you are not leaving this room until you have a heartfelt conversation about your true feelings. Don't underestimate the power of love. It changes sexual orientations just like that, solves interplanetary wars and every magical girl know that without love there are no cool transformation sequences that leave little to the imagination. In case you're wondering, my favorite senshi has got to be Neptune."<br>During this tirade Shizuo blinked, his perplexity escalating.  
>"Huh, Erika? Thanks for handing me the louse and all but I have no idea what you're going on about."<br>"Shizuo-kun is on the manly end of the bishounen scale and not the otaku type but that's cute, too. This is your opportunity of revealing your true feelings! Your pure thoughts and impure actions!"  
>Shizuo scratched his head and shook Izaya some more. He was seriously confused.<br>"My what? I hate Izaya because he's a louse. So I want to kill him."  
>Erika had somehow changed into Kino, a prop motorbike standing next to her.<br>"You should not kill, Shizuo-kun. Right, Hermes? There are no windows in this room and the walls and door are made of reinforced titanium that not even super strength can destroy. It's even super Seiyan proof. If you end up killing Izaya-kun then I'm afraid you'll never leave this place. Right, Hermes?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Her…mes?"  
>"Oh yes, this reminds me. I just picked my new wallpaper, I'm going for Hideoshi for some delicious trap action. I wonder, can you call yourself a true fan if you only watch the anime adaption of a light novel? That's what separates the real fans from the casual viewers. A real fan knows the franchise inside out! And will even read stuff like Nightmare of Nunnally."<br>Shizuo returning to shaking Izaya. He was by now thoroughly confused.  
>"You say I can't kill Izaya? And we're trapped here…?"<br>"Precisely! Shizuo-kun, fated rivals can never kill each other. When they do it is never the same, you know? Just think Death Note. But I'm talking too much. I already gave you a hand so you're all set! Feel free to look around the room, I left you boys all sorts of nifty things you can play with. You're my new OTP! Ganbatte!"  
>Erika waved frantically, put on a Pikachu cap and disappeared altogether. Shizuo was still staring blankly at the now empty screen when he realized that Izaya was coming around.<br>"Hey, you louse! Just what's going on here!"  
>Izaya struggled to sit. Thankfully he could camouflage his erection with his beloved jacket but this was not good. He felt as if he was burning up and he knew he was blushing intensely. Shizuo touched his shoulder, lightly enough but Izaya flinched immediately.<br>"Just what did she to do you? I'm not even hitting you and you're acting all weird."  
>Shizuo sounded curious now.<br>"Erm…nothing. Just have a fever. Need to cool off. Hand me a drink?"  
>"Why the hell should I do that?"<br>Izaya was panting heavily.  
>"Please?"<br>This was definitely weird. Shizuo shrugged, looking at Izaya made him feel strange.  
>"Fine. It's no fun to kick you around when you're sick. Bloody louse, I bet you got a fever on purpose so that I can't hit you without feeling bad about myself."<br>Shizuo produced a can of soda from the vending machine. Izaya knew that he was doomed when upon reaching for the cold can, he accidently touched Shizuo's fingers. Izaya bit his tongue to keep himself from moaning but it was no use, his body acted of its own accord and lurched at Shizuo who was so surprised that he fell down, Izaya clambering on top of him.  
>"Shizu-chan…"<br>"What the hell you think you're doing?"  
>"Not…my fault…Erika, she-"<br>"You got the hots for her?"  
>Izaya shifted slightly and this time the friction did make him moan. It did not help that Shizuo was this obtuse.<br>"No…"  
>Shizuo noticed the wet glow on Izaya's lips and caught glimpses of his smooth chest through the tattered shirt. And then he felt something hard pressed against him.<br>"What the fu-"  
>Izaya kissed him sloppily and muffled Shizuo's protests. Izaya's eyes were glazed over. Shizuo decided that enough was enough and jumped to his feet, dangling Izaya from the remains of the shirt. Izaya did not react but only moaned again as the sudden movement caused his pants to drop and exposed his arousal. Shizuo gasped.<br>"You sick fuck!"  
>"Urgh…sorry but it's not my fault…"<br>Shizuo now shook him in mid air.  
>"How the hell isn't your fault!"<br>"…aphrodisiac…Erika's."  
>"Eh? Eh? Are you shitting me?"<br>"No…put me down."  
>Shizuo obeyed and made it for the door.<br>"That's it, I'm getting out of there. I'll kill you some other time."  
>He picked up the vending machine and banged it against the door. Shizuo repeated this, getting worked up as tiny gasps reached him in the intervals of silence.<br>"No point…won't work."  
>Erika's voice piped from some hidden speakers:<br>"'No climax, no point, no meaning'! I knew Izaya-kun was a BL fan. I run my own circle, next issue will feature you guys! By the way, if we cosplayed Gintama Shizuo-kun would totally be Toushi with a passion for wasabi instead of mayo and Izaya-kun would be the love child of Okita and Kamui! Oh, I think I'm on to something here!"


	5. Chapter 5

Shizuo abandoned his banging on the door. He turned around to find Izaya with his legs spread open, a fist moving up and down his hard length. It knocked the words out of Shizuo's mouth. He could not keep himself from staring.  
>"Oh, this is getting hot now. Shizuo-kun, don't just stand there! Give him a hand. Help him out! And I'll take a potato chip and eat it!"<br>Which she proceeded to do.  
>"Stop doing perverted things when I'm around! Izaya!"<br>Izaya could not exactly stop and surely not when Shizuo shortened the distance between them and proceeded to again shake him.  
>"Then don't touch me!"<br>"Eh? I don't mean it like that!"  
>"…doesn't matter."<br>Erika saw fit to contribute to this intelligent discussion with some very pertinent information:  
>"Shizaya is so the new 6918. Only better. I don't suppose you keep a pet owl, Izaya-kun? How about a switchblade trident?"<br>"Enough of this 69 talk!"  
>Izaya could not help from grinding against a stupefied Shizuo who became much more so when Izaya somehow managed to turn him around and get him on all fours. Shizuo struggled, this time he would really kill Izaya and nevermind what may befall him, but Izaya restrained him against all odds.<br>"Izaya!"  
>Erika clapped.<br>"Izaya-kun, I'm impressed! You're so much shorter that I had you tagged as the uke in this but I suppose yandere will always top tsundere."  
>"How did you become so strong?"<br>That was probably the least of Shizuo's worries as Izaya was quickly undressing him and pressing something wet and hard against his ass and Shizuo had a pretty good idea of what it was.  
>"Shizuo-kun, I forgot to mention! It's a side effect from the love potion. So that's why it's Shizaya and not the other way around. Sweet. I love reversible pairings."<br>Before Shizuo could say anything about any of this Izaya was burying himself with one swift thrust that brought blazing (bonus points for alliteration) pain, all he could manage was a strangled gasp.  
>"Izaya-kun, first time topping?"<br>"…ngh."  
>Izaya had nothing further to add, he was too busy fucking Shizuo as the drug rushed through his blood stream with renewed power.<br>"No! Stop that! You bloody- oh…"  
>Shizuo gritted his teeth this was becoming way too weird. Maybe Erika had somehow slipped him something as well while he wasn't looking. Yes, that must be it, there was absolutely no way he was beginning to enjoy how Izaya rammed into him, no.<br>"Tsk, tsk, Shizuo-kun. You should know that in BL terms 'no' means 'yes'. And 'yes' means 'yes', of course."  
>Izaya got a handful of blonde hair and pulled hard. As Erika watched the spectacle, checked sizes- Shizuo was indeed very big and even more so when he was hard which was happening very fast- she decided to share some of her wisdom.<br>"You know, I hate it how bad BL anime tends to be. I like me some animated smex, know what I mean? All the good bits are edited out more often than not. There is always the famous corn but still."  
>No one paid any attention to her. In fact, neither Shizuo nor Izaya even heard her. Shizuo was trying to keep himself from moaning, cursed be Orihara Izaya forever for hitting his soft spot and nearly melting him with each thrust. As for Izaya perhaps for the first time in his life was not scheming or thinking ahead, in fact he was not thinking at all, he was just horny and on the best power trip ever. Erika was of course not at all phased.<br>"Then again, it always happens. When your favorite manga, game, novel, webcomic or whatever gets turned into an anime you're always divided about it. You check out the seiyuu castings and squee, then you hound pixiv for the loads of nifty new artwork but at the same time you're afraid they'll ruin it and that the fanbase will expand and become retarded. I have only one thing to say: Hetalia."


	6. Chapter 6

Izaya came with one hard thrust and nearly ripped out a generous portion of blonde hair as he emptied himself deep inside Shizuo. He almost collapsed as his orgasm soared through him and was utterly deaf to Shizuo's loud complaints. Izaya pulled out and sat on the floor, panting heavily. Shizuo was beyond angry for all sorts of reasons but Izaya had fucked him to the point he could only bark ineffectually:  
>"Bastard!"<br>Izaya looked around with some curiosity. By now he knew that he either played along to Erika's weird fantasies or suffering endlessly. He spotted some cat ears and a tail and promptly put them on. Shizuo was still rock hard and rambling angrily. Izaya approached him on all fours and got him on his back, erection pointed at the ceiling.  
>"Nya~"<br>"What the HELL are you wearing?"  
>Izaya licked the tip of Shizuo's dick and wiggled his ass so that the tail waved around.<br>"Oh, cat boys are great. Good idea, Izaya-kun. The world needs more kemonomimi. And when is the next Loveless volume getting published? I am getting to the point I may have to send a bomb to Kouga-sensei as an incentive. I slash Yuiko with a chainsaw."  
>Izaya silenced any more protests on Shizuo's part by swallowing his whole length. Pre-cum made Izaya's lips even glossier.<br>"I don't like her either. I'm more a fan of Seimei and Nisei."  
>Erika squeed.<br>"I knew Izaya-kun was into BL!"  
>Shizuo was about to say something about sick people and their 2D fetishes that should never transpire into real life but Izaya resumed his wet ministrations with his tongue and sucked him expertly so that in no time Shizuo was thrusting his hips upwards and letting out a low groan as he came into the sweet warmth of Izaya's mouth. Izaya swallowed every single drop of the salty liquid. He was unsure whether he was just trying to keep Erika pleased or if the aphrodisiac was still working on him. Izaya suspected that it was a bit of both judging by the stirring below the waist.<br>"You're a pervert, Izaya!"  
>"Like you didn't like that."<br>"That's- that's beside the point!"  
>Izaya groomed his cat ears.<br>"Kitty got some milk, nya!"  
>"I'm done with this insanity."<br>Izaya got too close for comfort yet again and whispered into Shizuo's ears.  
>"Now is the time to declare your undying love for me or we'll be stuck here forever."<br>"Will you get off already!"  
>Erika piped in yet again:<br>"Now, Shizuo-kun just because you enjoyed bottoming there is a limit as to how much you can pretend otherwise."  
>Izaya sobbed most convincingly.<br>"Shizu-chan only loves me for my body. I feel…so violated!"  
>"What the? Hello! I'm the one who just got raped here! And are you getting hard again?"<br>"Sorry…blame it on the aphrodisiac."  
>"I think you just like having sex with people watching."<br>Erika interrupted this ever so interesting conversation.  
>"Hey! I'm not just 'people', I'm your number one fan. Only I could have seen Shizuo-kun's true feelings. Besides, I have years of experience reading about this kind of thing."<br>"That's not real! Erika, for the love of sanity, can't you tell the difference between fiction and reality?"  
>Izaya was also curious about this. Erika seemed to ponder.<br>"Hmm…sure, but I don't let it just stay that way. You know? Life can and should imitate art! That is the real meaning to it."  
>"Just give up, Shizu-chan. You can't win."<br>Izaya licked his hands, cat-like all the way.  
>"Stop acting like that!"<br>"I'm in character."  
>Izaya selected a vibrator from an assortment that Erika had left for them.<br>"What character would that be?"  
>"Catboy in heat, of course."<br>Izaya clinched the matter by lathering up the vibrator with some handy lube and then sliding it in, his muscles tensing as it got past his entrance and fully sheathed into his body. He clambered unto a bed that both of them had managed to miss up to this point. Izaya turned on the device and oozed unto the covers. Shizuo stared and wondered what was up with the stupid tail that moved between pert buttocks that were round and small in just the right away- then looked away. Weird thoughts were getting into his head.  
>"Shi-zu-chan…don't you want to top? Nya…"<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

"Shizuo-kun! Put on your seme hat and go for it! Believe in me that believes in you!"  
>Erika really liked her Kamina glasses and she now had the perfect opportunity for putting them on. Shizuo was this watching the show that Izaya was putting on for whatever reasons someone as crazy as Izaya might have.<br>"Oh…"  
>"Why are you so loud anyway! Slut."<br>"There, there, loud is good. Besides, don't worry Shizuo-kun this place is absolutely sound proof. This is a 'intimate smexy with fluff' setting, maybe next time I'll go for a 'sex in public' kind of thing, that's always very popular with readers."  
>Shizuo took his eyes from an increasingly horny Izaya and blinked at Erika and her bizarre shades.<br>"'Next time'? And what do you man by readers?"  
>Izaya interrupted this with a loud meow.<br>"Shizu-chan is bigger than a toy…"  
>Izaya sat with the vibrator deeply tucked inside. He was fully hard by now, his eyes a bit blurred as he shameless beckoned Shizuo with a 'come hither' gesture. Shizuo cursed. He was getting aroused against all common sense.<br>"Oh screw it all."  
>Shizuo joined Izaya in bed and pushed him flat on his back, the vibrator still humming inside. Izaya covered his face with paw-like hands.<br>"Izaya-nya is embarrassed."  
>"Oh really?"<br>Shizuo pulled out the vibrator and tossed it aside. Izaya moped.  
>"Shizu-chan…"<br>"Want something, Izaya-kun?"  
>Shizuo figured that Erika might appreciate some dirty talking. As for himself he could do with some humiliating this annoying louse that was far too slutty and hot. Izaya nodded and spread himself as suggestively as he could.<br>"You're going to tell me what you want."  
>Shizuo pumped his slowly and as a reaction Izaya thrust his hips upwards to meet the contact on his fist enveloping his hardness.<br>"Hng…embarrassing…"  
>"What do you want, Izaya-kun? I can't just guess, now can I?"<br>"I want…your cock…inside me…"  
>Shizuo licked his lips. He was loath to admit but he was getting hornier by the second. He placed the tip of his now dripping arousal against his entrance and firmly held him down.<br>"Can't keep you waiting, then."  
>Izaya sweetened his voice:<br>"Shizu-chan…be gentle, this is Izaya-nya's first time."  
>Shizuo snorted in lieu of a chuckle. Erika piped him with more of her wisdom.<br>"Now Izaya-kun, even I don't believe _that_. I'll suspend my disbelief here for the sake of hot sex."  
>"See? Not even the deluded fangirl believes you're a virgin. And only psychos refer to themselves in the third person."<br>Izaya pouted in an exaggerated manner.  
>"So mean, Shizu-chan~"<br>His play on hyper moe mode went to hell as soon as Shizuo forced his way into him.  
>"…fuck, that bloody hurts, Shizu!"<br>Shizuo allowed himself a smirk. It was so tight inside that each thrust was pure bliss and the fact that Izaya had tears forming on the corners of his eyes added to it.  
>"What did you expect?"<br>Shizuo hooked a slender leg over his shoulder and plowed in deeper. Izaya tossed his head back as he was repeatedly filled to the brim.  
>"Ukes often fail to see some obvious things."<br>"Shizu-chan…more, Izaya-nya wants more."  
>Shizuo sat him on his dick and gave him one swift thrust.<br>"Then ride me. I-za-ya-kun."  
>Izaya settled in this new position and placed his hands on Shizuo's shoulders for leverage. He was slow at first as he adjusted to the burning inside that shot upwards each time he brought himself down but he picked up speed soon enough. Shizuo could see the telltale signs of an incoming orgasm in the way Izaya curled his toes and panted rapidly. He waited until Izaya was very close and then gripped his balls and squeezed them tightly. Izaya hissed and glared, it made Shizuo's day and almost made up for all this craziness.<br>"What the hell, Shizu!"  
>"Aw, not being very nice Izaya-nya. Something wrong?"<br>Izaya stopped his rocking and tried to process the anguish need consuming him.  
>"Just let me come already!"<br>"No. Tops are supposed to be sadists according to you two so I'm in character too."  
>"Aw, Shizuo-kun, you're learning. I am so proud! Maybe you have an otaku split personality like Toushi does. Ever been possessed by the spirit of a cursed sword? In your case maybe it would be a cursed vending machine."<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

"I didn't sign in for this!"  
>Erika tsked.<br>"Izaya-kun, I'm disappointed in you. Your uke factor is high enough for this kind of thing to be obvious, you know?"  
>Izaya did not even hear her taunts. Shizuo pushed him on belly without letting his talon like grip on Izaya's swollen testicles.<br>"This is how it's going down, I-za-ya-kun. I'm going to fuck you until you don't even know your own name and you'll get to come when I say so…if you come at all."  
>A weak whimper was all Izaya could offer. Shizuo resumed impaling him, low guttural sounds ringing in Izaya's ears. He decided to opt for a different strategy before he just died out of sheer need.<br>"Shizu-chan…please let me come."  
>Izaya softened his voice as much as he could when it was difficult not to scream.<br>"Aw, are you begging? Whatever happened to Izaya-nya?"  
>"<em>Please…!<em>"  
>"I'm not convinced."<br>Shizuo gave him a few deep and slow thrusts. Tears of frustration blurred Izaya's eyes.  
>"So mean-"<br>Shizuo smiled smugly and leant over him so that he covered Izaya with his body, surrounding him on all sides.  
>"Tell you what, meow for me and I'll consider it."<br>There was hardly any hesitation in Izaya's reply.  
>"Nya~"<br>Shizuo came with an uncoordinated grunt and he shot his stuff deep inside without letting go of Izaya's balls. Izaya twitched and thrashed but Shizuo's grip was like iron. Shizuo pulled out and spread some of his jizz over Izaya's oozing arousal. Before Izaya had a chance of using his hand Shizuo had applied a pair of cuffs to his wrists (courtesy of Erika, of course) and pinned them behind his back. Izaya whined loudly and tried to hump the bed sheets, he did not even care at this point but Shizuo neatly rolled him on his back so that his arms grew numb in no time. Worse than that was the fact that he could not touch himself.  
>Shizuo watched him and puffed some smoke.<br>"You're a slut, Izaya. Half 'bukuro has tried you before."  
>"And the other half wish it had, huh Shizu-chan?"<br>Shizuo was getting hard all over again so he climbed on top of Izaya and grinded against him. In less than a minute Izaya was coming from the friction and Shizuo took the opportunity for slipping inside him just in time for an orgasming Izaya to milk his by now fully erect dick.  
>They slumped side by side in bed and Erika did not even let them catch their breath.<br>"Okay, boys! That was hot like wow but now it's time for the fluff. So release Izaya-kun and tell him how much you love him."  
>Shizuo snorted.<br>"Hell no."  
>"Shizuo-kun, being this unreasonable about your emotions is still bad for you. And please don't force me to use the super laser weapon that I have orbiting the Earth. I borrowed it from 00, it's really neat. Don't cool Latin names make everything sound better? Even when it's pretty much useless to the plot."<br>Izaya squirmed awkwardly.  
>"I liked Tieria's seiyuu."<br>"Oh, Izaya-kun, you."  
>Shizuo got up and made as if to leave despite the fact that it just so happened to be impossible.<br>"I'm not saying anything about lo-"  
>A smoldering hole formed at his feet and following it with his eyes Shizuo realized that this must be the effect of the rumored laser. Shizuo bounced back to bed and removed the cuffs so that he could grab Izaya's hands and peer into his eyes. Then he hesitated. And gritted his teeth.<br>"Izaya, I have something that I want to tell you."  
>"Oh really, Shizu-chan? What could it possibly be?"<br>A blonde eyebrow twitched angrily. Even the sound of Izaya's voice got to his nerves.  
>"I want to tell you- that- er…."<br>Erika interrupted.  
>"You boys, let me create some atmosphere! No need to thank me!"<br>A flutter of pink petals wafted through the air and the lightening changed to a reddish color that was supposed to mimic a sundown setting.  
>"Okay, don't mind me now! Back to being all emotional and gushy as must always happen after hot nonconsensual sex!"<br>Shizuo licked his lips. This was not going to be easy.  
>"Izaya-kun, I wanted to tell you that I really…really…"<br>"Really…?"  
>"…love you."<br>Izaya blushed and looked away rapidly.  
>"Shizu-chan…! I never knew you felt that way…now that you've raped me I obviously realize that I've loved you all along."<p>

Shizuo wanted to smash the fake smile. Instead he kissed Izaya which if he were honest about it was just as good. Erika clapped and cheered.  
>"Awww! That was sweet! What do you think of what I did with the lights? Going a bit Shaft there. I officially approve this pairing!"<br>Shizuo muttered something. Izaya adjusted his cat ears and licked his wounded wrists.  
>"You know what just occurred to me? You guys, what if we are actually fictional characters and someone is writing fanfiction about us?"<br>There was a moment of silence. Then Erika laughed and Izaya joined her  
>"Of course that can't be!"<br>"Heh, you're right but it would be so weird, wouldn't it?"  
>"Next thing you know you'll be telling me Celty doesn't have a head!"<br>Shizuo smoked and shook his head.  
>"Fuck, I'm stuck in a bloody loony bin with a bunch of crazies."<br>"Love is a wonderful thing, Shizuo-kun!"  
>"Nya~"<br>Shizuo sighed. So he was indeed surrounded by insane people but at least the sex was good. As for matters of the heart he only had one thing to say to _that_: "Bloody hell."

**The End**


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